No. What happens when you do the same things for someone else? You get the feeling you have done something for that person. There is a sense of doership. What does this lead to? It gives you joy or feeds the ego, pride, arrogance. It creates an expectation in your mind from that person. You want them to appreciate your act, and would want them to help you when you are in need. What happens if that person forgets your act of kindness, does not help you when you go to him? You feel hurt, angry, self-pity, depressed - "How could he forget what I did for him...huh","He doesn't realize and appreciate how much I do for him"; "Kids have forgotten how much we sacrificed for them" and on and on.
Why is the act of doing anything for ourself different from doing it for someone else? Because there is a sense of separation between you and the other person. If you would do the same thing for your child, you may not feel the doership. If you do the same thing for your spouse, parents then a little bit sense of doership, if you do it for a dear friend, then a little bit, if you do it for neighbor or colleague, then a little more, if you do it for a stranger then a lot more.
The truth is every act of giving to someone else, is giving ourself. We give ourself joy or we give our self pride, ego, arrogance which leads to expectations, sadness, anger, self-pity, depression.
When do we we feel we are sacrificing? When we give up something we love. When we give up something that is more dear to us, than the person or reason we are giving up for. You may think you are giving up your values, but it's actually the ego that is being challenged in the process. God, our values, love, all this is truth. Truth is universal and omnipresent and can never be given up.
The less the sense of belongingness, the more the sense of doership. When you think everyone and everything is yours, then the sense of doership drops, and you act from your very nature...
The Sun never complains it has to go around every day, the moon never makes us realize it's lightening up the darkness, the air we breathe doesn't even seem to exist, the trees silently remove the poison that we breathe out, the river keeps flowing incessantly. Everything in its nature, just continues to serve.
We give our 100% and do what is needed, what we can do in our capacity; have no attachments to the result and not form any judgements or opinions about the result. Then we are not giving. We are serving. And to be able to serve is a true Gift.
How to increase belongingness, strengthen our inner Self, increase our capacity to serve more, and drop the sense of doership? By connecting with our inner Self, tapping the unbounded source of joy and enthusiasm and acting from that space. Only Meditation can connect you with your Self.
The Art of Meditation course, can help you go deep into meditation effortlessly.
